719 days
When you were a little girl
you used to leave messages in our shoes
one day a quarter and two nickels,
once an old happy meal toy
a button from your favorite shirt
I would put my shoes on at the door
and limp through the rows of mint
that over grew the bend in the walkway
there I would be -a spectacle to the neighbors
leaning on a post in the driveway with my shoes off
I've been missing you lately...
719 days since you left this world
The wild, untamed pain has gentled some
in these past two years
It's not spinning completely out of control like it used to
when I first found out
that you had injected yourself with a drug
that killed you
there are times I sense your presence like when you were alive
like when you were a girl leaving messages in our shoes
I wonder what I would say to you now
If I could put ink to paper
and if you had a shoe that I could leave it in...
(white Nikes with a black swish
that you cleaned every night with a wet paper towel -
'cause you loved them so much)
Come back
it would say, in neat little rows
come back
come back
come back
come back
come back
Oh, my friend, my heart leaped when i saw your link, then sank as i read your poem. I am so very sorry. You have lived our worst nightmare. Somehow you have survived. Those lines, come back, come back, come back.........heartbreaking....... My email has changed. I am in Tofino now. Email me, we'll talk. wildwomantwo@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteThe shoe may be invisible, but you have left a visible and heartfelt message.
ReplyDeleteOH. Wow! This is the pebble in her shoe, this is a gift in mine to hear the loss, the grief, the memories, the love. You will touch so many with these words. Sadness and peace.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure who you are talking about here, but I'm so sorry your loved one left this world.
ReplyDelete~Sheri
So very sad, and utterly imparts every detail so it seems my own. The poem is itself a message; may the writing ease your heart a little.
ReplyDeleteIt's my story as it were. So heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteHeartbreaking. Your grief and loss beautifully expressed
ReplyDeleteThis is heart wrenching. Thank you for sharing your loss, your pain. I do my best to empathize. But I'm sure I don't know what it's like to walk in your shoes.
ReplyDeleteYour words tore at my heart - I cannot imagine your pain. Loss is a terrible thing, and of a child, especially so.
ReplyDeleteI send the the kindest of regards and loads of love and hugs.
Anna
How sad...you write beautifully! We all feel your pain. I've gone back and read more of your blog and appreciate your writing!
ReplyDeletewhat a fascinating and coded messaging system .... and such a heartbreaking story .... so sensitively offered to us here ... what and those words .... come back come back are just so intense - a wish that crosses time and age
ReplyDeleteReading just now reminded me why I left a 'note to self' nudging me to stay In touch....come back now and them to visit a Blogger who's face I have never seen...voice I've I have never heard because the the writing just flat out grabs my attention...the simple, simple unpretentious words . Your writing style encourages and challenges me. ..I'll beback and try again - I must-it's been several months since I posted on my own blog & I'm trying to figure out why etc. Later
ReplyDelete