12 December

For Today

12 December, 2016

Looking out my window

It's rather cloudy and grey. We had a bit of snow during the night but it turned into a cold rain this morning. The streets are quiet, the seas are a bit choppy and it's almost to high tide.

I am thinking

I have been a bit down this season. There is such a lot going on and I feel overwhelmed. I miss Ashley. Just to type her name brings me to a new set of tears. This is the first Christmas without her but that sounds so cliche. She was my step-child and I hadn't seen her in 4 years and yet I raised her as if she were my own, I raised her beside my own. I feel somehow as if I am not allowed to grieve so because she was not mine. But she was mine in my heart and my heart aches that she is gone.

I am thankful

We have Verne! He is such a beautiful grandson! I am so happy for my daughter.

One of my favorite things

low lying light

I am creating

a contented life

I am wearing

candy cane striped pajamas and a red hoodie because we have the heat set to 59.

 I am still curled up in my bed with a cup of tea even though it's almost 11:00 in the morning. 

I attempted to go to work this morning but the bus ride completely undid me. I hope to feel better tomorrow.

I am reading

I have been watching Christmas movies...my favorite is The Walton's Homecoming

I am hoping

that this dreadful cold will be on it's way out tomorrow. And, also, for some snow.

I like a bit of snow because it looks so pretty. 

also, I just feel like when the ground is covered with white 

Ashley will be telling me that she is well.

I am learning

that there is more to getting old than I thought there was.

It's painful to lose the ones we love

memories are sweet to have but they hurt

 

In my kitchen

I've been sick all weekend so there has been nothing at all coming out of the kitchen. Today I plan on making a meatloaf for Joe to bring to work this evening. Honestly though, the thought of smelling it cook is not appealing.

In the school room

What i am learning this season is how to be still. 

I am learning how to find the joy in the quiet of the season.

again and in different ways.

In my garden

I have put a few coloured lights on my ficas tree and set it at the bottom of the bed. It's quite a cheery night light when we are wakened in the dark.

Poinsettias are in the house as well. I picked up three big beautiful ones at Whole Foods a few weeks back. One white and two red.

Post Script

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Shared Quote

Through the years we all will be together 

if the fates allow

so hang a shiny star upon the highest bow

and have yourself a merry little Christmas now

A moment from my day

Closing Notes

For auld lang syne, my dear,

For auld lang syne,

We'll tak a cup o kindness yet,

For auld lang syne!