I think the first line is important as it sets the scene far more than just the second line alone. What you are "stealing into" is important for "mood". The brevity here is unique and fun.
Deep peace of the running wave to you. Deep peace of the flowing air to you. Deep peace of the quiet earth to you. Deep peace of the shining stars to you. Deep peace of the gentle night to you. Moon and stars pour their healing light on you
ha. sneaky you. intriguing...def a bare bones verse...i wonder what you started with?
ReplyDeleteReading this makes me want to write something tight like that. Very skillfully done.
ReplyDeleteI think you could cutt this down to one short line ...
ReplyDeleteI think, that for these purposes, you may be right. "I steal in through the gate" does say an awful lot.
Deletenow that is edited down to its essence, yet says enough for us to get the mind going..smiles
ReplyDeleteVery concise and your view words create an aura for the story behind it--a moment.>KB
ReplyDeleteLove it!
ReplyDeleteHe, he, he . . . have to wonder about the original.
ReplyDeleteThe imagination runs wild and faster than our feet! Wonderful dear!
ReplyDeletenow that is an edit... hmmm, I wonder what will happen
ReplyDeleteI think the first line is important as it sets the scene far more than just the second line alone. What you are "stealing into" is important for "mood". The brevity here is unique and fun.
ReplyDelete