They sat out on the porch and watched it roll in over the sea.
Thick, black, huge, menacing clouds that left no doubt about what they were up to.
The entire island had settled and hushed in anticipation and the even the gulls on the beach had
stopped squawking at one another.
The wind picked up and whipped the trees back in forth in front of them and the waves crashed so
loudly they could almost feel the salty spray from the shelter of their perch on the porch.
And then came the thunder.
Makes me feel like I'm there! Love your writing! Thanks for visiting me on Little Homestead on the Hill :)ReplyDelete
nice....i love the power of a storm, to sit and watch it roll in...i bet they jumped a bit at the thunder...haha....smiles.ReplyDelete
I feel like I'm sitting right there experiencing the calm before the storm. Beautiful!!ReplyDelete
That's wonderful! It's been so dry where I am that I would love to be in this moment.ReplyDelete
I like the piece and the smooth description. I don't get why it's centre-aligned though. You had me stopping at places I shouldn't have. There are a couple of typos in there too.ReplyDelete
But overall, I liked it.
Thank yo Nada Adel for taking the time to read and comment. You're right it is choppy written like that. Part of the reason is because I was hurrying this morning and didn't pre-read as I should have, part is because I was concentrating more on the 5 sentence thing and not so much on how thing flowed, and part is because I'm new at this and hoping to improve my writing. I appreciate the constructive criticism. I'm starting school again next week and I'm sure I'll hear much more of it. That's how one improves.ReplyDelete
To begin with, I love the title and thought behind your blog. This is a wonderful fiction piece that read to me like poetry. Thank you for sharing.ReplyDelete
Great story! Very evocative.ReplyDelete
I feel like I am there. FantasticReplyDelete
Enjoyed the visuals in this. I was there!ReplyDelete
The 'wide' and deep silence...ReplyDelete
The stillness, that eerie sense of impending "something", and then...
The thrilling trembling of thunder!
You made an exquisite poem that reach into our very inner feelings!
Lovely, liked this a lot :-)ReplyDelete
Very visually stimulating. Loved it!ReplyDelete
Stunning. Loved the visuals!ReplyDelete
You managed to transport me there; great job. What's more, I LOVE the line "And then came the thunder."ReplyDelete
I felt this, and I almost could see and hear it.ReplyDelete
I love watching storms and this scene looks so inviting to me. I know it seems backward to say, but it is the love of nature's power.ReplyDelete