In my mother's garden

 


I grew up in this little town of Marblehead, MA.

It's the kind of a place that claims a spot in your soul and you carry it with you where ever you go.

My husband grew up here as well and we live in a second floor apartment above the first floor apartment where my mum lived up until her death on 27 June of this year. 

Every where I go she is with me. This is a blessing and curse...or neither.

Perhaps it is just simply the way of things when one loses their parents.

I am beginning to see a light on the path ahead of me. 

A tiny flickering flame dancing with the sorrow in my heart. 

The bible tells me that God hears me even when I cannot put my thoughts or feelings into words...even if I can only moan or cry out my prayers, God hears me and understands.

Where there was only darkness and sadness now there is just enough light for me to make out a few words on this page, in this chapter of my life.

The words I am reading say that it can be time for me to become who I am. To claim the parts of my soul that are scattered about, to gather all the tiny flickering lights into one light.

My mum gave me both roots and wings 

and now it is time for me to steer my own ship in my own harbour. 


I will forever and ever be thankful for all the gifts that my mother left with me.

Now I see a tiny flickering light around a bend that tells me it's okay to let her go. I don't have to carry her whole being around with me everywhere I go. She won't get lost. She will be all right.

And so will I.

~ ~ ~

Thankful Thursday


Comments

  1. Ginny Hartzler17 November 2021 at 15:43

    I am SO glad to read this! I know you will be just fine, too. Blessings to you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Peabea Scribbles17 November 2021 at 20:01

    So true when someone leaves us. Seems their footprints are everywhere and sometimes it really tugs at the heart. Glad you're doing somewhat better. I lost my mom 24 years ago, and still I find myself wanting to call her at times and ask a question. ~hugs~

    ReplyDelete
  3. Faith18 November 2021 at 16:37

    Beautiful. My own mom has been gone since 10/2012 and my dad since April 2017. I feel them with me at times and at other times it is very difficult to remember they're gone and I can't just call them to chat. What comforts me the most is that they knew the Lord and therefore are in Heaven awaiting the rest of us.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Michelle19 November 2021 at 09:10

    My mom passed last fall. It has been a year of real transition for me. A year of growing up, even though I am past fifty. You will be alright and so will I. Thank you so much for linking this up.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Red Rose Alley19 November 2021 at 09:53

    Your Mom's light will flicker in your heart forever. They are a part of us, and as time goes on, we remember them with dear thoughts. There's nothing like a Mother, a protector, one who guides and one who gives so much of herself. Thinking of you and sending a thought of comfort and love.

    ~Sheri

    ReplyDelete
  6. ~Lavender Dreamer~19 November 2021 at 10:59

    It's so hard to lose our loved ones but I think you are doing great and I appreciate this thoughtful post. Fall is a hard time for me but every year it gets better. Sweet hugs, Diane

    ReplyDelete

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