14 August

one word wednesday

winnow

to free (grain) from the lighter particles of chaff, dirt, etc., especially by throwing it into the air and allowing the wind or a forced current of air to blow away ipurities.

to separate or distinguish (valuable from worthless parts) : to winnow falsehood from truth

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A sudden light transfigures a trivial thing, a weather-vane, a wind-mill, a winnowing flail, the dust in the barn door; a moment,- -and the thing has vanished, because it was pure effect; but it leaves a relish behind it, a longing that the accident may happen again

walter Pater  

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in flashes I see what I am becoming

By letting go -by standing in the face of the current and giving it free rein -by acquiescing to the whole

abandoning  post and jumping with  glad heart into the current of the openness

 shaped by the cosmos -the forces

 letting go

 discovering

to be an adventurer in the way

 at once winnowing and being winnowed  

 free

becoming distinguished 

as she walked through the blast of the tempestuous currents of her life  and into the clearing

 the things that  had lost value separated themselves from her and were left behind

like an action movie hero running from an explosion

the difference was that  the chaff was imploding into the space behind her

so the way in front opened for her as she stepped into it

and though she had been and would continue to be battered and hacked away at by the winnowing flail 

what remained standing would be tried and vetted

distinguished from the rest

she acquiesced  to the winnowing -enjoyed it even -this time she would not cling to what was expected, 

she would not cling to anything. 

 Now she remembered how to free fall. 

Now she knew that she would relish in the setting free and like a child filled with wonder and curiosity 

she spread her arms open wide and allowed the current free rein.

only in giving, only in surrender can we become who we are