27 August
in early morning
the gulls kicked up a ruckus
from the water's edge
rain fell quiet, soft
upon darkened streets outside
reflecting streetlamps
at the earliest hour
he laid his hand upon her hip
and she moved toward him
Yes I did.
ReplyDeletesmiles...i love the implied intimacy of those last lines....what a morning eh? i like too how you let us see/hear all that is going on around before you get there...
ReplyDeletequite & matter-of-fact... in a superbly poetic way - i love it
ReplyDeleteYou set the scene wonderfully. Beautifully expressed.
ReplyDelete"at the earliest hour
ReplyDeletehe laid his hand upon her hip"
I love the subtle shift here, the embedded possibilities only hinted at.
Tis a gorgeous write.
ReplyDeleteLove the addition of the vision of his laying his hand upon her hip. Very nice indeed.
ReplyDeletePamela
Very tender, soft, and delicious.
ReplyDeleteWonderful images!
ReplyDeleteI like how the first two stanzas set the scene for the romance evoked in the third. Simplicity is often what works best!
ReplyDeleteSimple, quiet and lovely.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful ending. You made me feel all warm and cosy.
ReplyDeletenicely minimalistic
ReplyDeleteI love the sense of sound - what one hears while wrapped in an intimate moment - the immediacy of this poem ... nicely done!
ReplyDeletesmiles...and the rest of the story is left to our fantasy...smiles... i like
ReplyDeletetender and evocative..
ReplyDeletepresent and intimate - gorgeous ~ M
ReplyDeleteLovely :)
ReplyDelete